{"id":4829,"date":"2023-02-28T09:07:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-28T17:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/?p=4829"},"modified":"2025-05-01T11:39:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-01T18:39:52","slug":"money-fights-how-to-avoid-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/blog\/money-fights-how-to-avoid-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Money Fights & How to Avoid Them"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Money Fights & How to Avoid Them<\/h2>\n

If we\u2019re honest, we don\u2019t need research to tell us what we already know deep in our bones: We don\u2019t always agree with our partners on money matters. Often, fights with a spouse about spending or saving can drive us right to the edge.<\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t have to be this way. It\u2019s actually possible to stop money fights before<\/em> they bubble up. Your relationship and experiences with money didn\u2019t develop overnight, so you can\u2019t expect to immediately live harmoniously with someone who has a different financial mindset. It takes time and effort. Sometimes, you have to agree to disagree and move on for a while before taking up a contentious topic again.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a look at some of the best ways couples can successfully navigate financial issues together. These proven strategies can help you communicate more and argue less about money.<\/p>\n

Write it Down<\/h2>\n

If you tend to disagree on where money should go<\/a> outside of your typical household expenses and monthly bills, make a list of your money priorities (such as children, a vacation account or an emergency fund) for where each partner feels extra money should go.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s very important for each person in the couple to write down their pressure points, including whoever (or whatever) will need more financial assistance than usual,\u201d says Maggie Baker, Ph.D., a psychologist and financial therapy specialist. \u201cThen list your own personal priorities. Writing it down cements what you are thinking about. If it\u2019s just rolling around in your head, it\u2019s easy to get lost.\u201d<\/p>\n

Schedule Money Chats<\/h2>\n

Once you have your list, plan a meeting with your significant other. You may want to set a recurring appointment once a month, and then set guidelines for how your money talk will go. Set a time limit of an hour, and agree that neither party can leave the room or the conversation during that time.<\/p>\n

“Keep in mind that it\u2019s okay to disagree with your partner when the moment arises,” Baker notes. \u201cYou can talk about how the conversation is making you feel. Just don\u2019t get up and walk out. With such a touchy subject, if someone feels abandoned, that does not bode well,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n

\u201cShort and frequent money discussions are key,\u201d says Sarah Sprague Gerber, AFC, founder of Momentum Financial Planning. \u201cYou don\u2019t necessarily want to build up a money discussion into some huge hours-long event. That can be intimidating and you could keep putting it off until it never happens.\u201d<\/p>\n

Prepare to Compromise<\/h2>\n

Many of us already know we can\u2019t always get what we want, exactly when<\/em> we want it. You should begin conversations about money with the expectation that you will need to compromise on some things.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will get some of what you want,\u201d Baker says, \u201cbut go into the talk with the expectation that you can\u2019t get it all your way. That often helps a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

“It\u2019s also crucial to make sure both partners are reflected in your shared personal financial strategy,” Gerber notes. That means if one of you is comfortable with a very aggressive portfolio, yet the other person can\u2019t sleep at night, that could be a problem. If that\u2019s where you are now, try coming up with some options that take into account both perspectives. There\u2019s almost always a happy medium where money is concerned.<\/p>\n

Practice Your Listening Skills<\/h2>\n

“We all have a need to be heard. That means most of us should also sharpen our listening skills,” Baker says. Then, whenever you\u2019re having a planned money chat, let your partner speak, and then repeat back what you heard to confirm that\u2019s what they really meant.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear you,\u201d are three of the most important words when it comes to talking about money with your partner, Baker says. \u201cWhen you can have an honest discussion, when an issue is clearly stated and understood by each person, then you can talk about it more successfully.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you find yourself stuck, don\u2019t give up. You can either agree and move on or agree to disagree, and come back to it later.<\/p>\n

Track Your Spending Together<\/h2>\n

“Being aware of what you spend is key to meeting financial goals in general,” Gerber says, but this is especially true when you\u2019re tracking with someone else. It helps to find a good way to ensure both of you are continually on top of what\u2019s going out to keep you on the same page about shared goals. By doing this, you\u2019re getting ahead of any money fights and stopping them before they start.<\/p>\n

Gerber and her partner use Mint and Personal Capital to track their net worth together. They also decided that using an old-fashioned spreadsheet helps them keep track of spending over time in a way that\u2019s meaningful for both of them.<\/p>\n

Look to a Professional If You Need One<\/h2>\n

If you and your partner find you\u2019re unable to resolve your money issues on your own, you may want to consider seeking assistance from an accredited financial therapist or counselor. A professional can help each partner consider their individual \u2018money stories\u2019 and feelings about finances, and understand how they may be very different. For a list of financial therapists in your area, visit the Financial Therapy Association<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Here at Sound, we care about your financial wellness. We have partnered with GreenPath Financial Wellness<\/a> to provide members with access to one-on-one financial counseling, debt management services, and financial education tools.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These proven strategies can help you communicate more and argue less about money. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":10813,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","_searchwp_excluded":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-finances"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4829","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4829"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4829\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14812,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4829\/revisions\/14812"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4829"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4829"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soundcu.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4829"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}